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Funny Facebook status message

A closed mouth is an open ear, the less you talk the more you hear.

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A closed mouth is an open ear, the less you talk the more you hear.

When somebody says "Expect the unexpected" slap them in the face and say" You didn’t expect that, did you."

I don’t have time to hate people who hate me, because I’m too busy loving people who love me!

Two most honest people in this world, drunk people and little kids…

Security is an illusion. Life is either a daring adventure or it is nothing at all.

Love has 4 letters, but so does Hate; Friends has 7 letters, but so does Enemies; Truth has 5 letters, but so does Lying.

Sometimes it is a good thing to have fake people in this world. It helps you find out who your real friends are.

Touch it gently, put 2 fingers inside, if it is wide use 3 fingers, make sure it is wet and rub up and down. Yupp that is how you wash a cup.

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.

Smile. It irritates those who wish to destroy you.

Sometimes we do everything right but still lose.

Dear homework, you are unattractive, there for, I cannot do you.

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