Share funny, embarrassing, exciting, amazing, humorous, awesome and philosophical status messages and witty status updates with your friends on Facebook, MySpace, Google+, Twitter and other Social Media! Racist and insulting texts are not allowed!
Have fun and always remember: LAUGHING IS HEALTHY!

,

,

,

,

,

Funny Facebook status message

It must be really exciting to run from the police on foot. It also must suck to be literally only one step ahead of the law.

Insert your message:

Be part of the largest witty, funny and philosophical sayings collection.

Actual Messages-Counter: 1077

Popular and the best twitter and facebook status updates

It must be really exciting to run from the police on foot. It also must suck to be literally only one step ahead of the law.

Our generation doesn’t knock on doors. We will call or text to let you know we’re outside.

Slogans I don't want to see at my local whorehouse: The nail that sticks up gets pounded down, The ugly bird gets the worm.

Weekend note to self: Start peeing on the church WALLS, not the door handles (so rude).

Dear God, I've been very good today, no grumpy thoughts, no swearing and I haven't been mean at all, but I'm about to get up now and I may need your help :))))))

Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Rapper T.I. explains The Message to would-be jumper; Ends 13-year reign of suicide prevention champion Third Eye Blind

I don't have enough middle fingers for today.

“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.”

Asking a question is easy. Hearing the truth isn`t.

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day!!!!

Seite: 12 3 4 >Letzte

Funny hilarious Facebook Updates - Android App

Funny hilarious Facebook Updates - Apple iPhone, iPod, iPad App